I eventually concluded that there wasn’t such a point. It was just a general slide down into that group that was a result of many of my choices – some of which were entirely my fault and some of which were environmental: the decision to not participate in sports, my attraction towards video games and reading, etc.

In my school it was mostly sport that made the distinction, but it seemed that, even the kids who weren’t good at any sport still did better off socially, if they just participated and showed enthusiasm.

What I wish I had, when I was around the ages of 8-12, was some kind of life coaching – or at least someone to explain to me the gravitas of the decisions I made during those years. If I’d known that just making an effort to get involved with school sport would have made so much of a difference to my later happiness, I wouldn’t have written it off as something I wasn’t good at, so shouldn’t bother with.

Great article. I’d love to see some suggestions for equipping kids with coping mechanisms for this kind of environment, because some clearly know how to take advantage of this system and get to the top, and others are just so clueless they have no idea why they’re unpopular and bullied.